Who Stole the Generic Viagra: A Crime Story?

It was sunny and eighty degrees in Saint Louis on a typical summer Tuesday. But, it might have well been winter and freezing cold. This was because everyone in town was frozen with fear. There was supposedly a crime that had taken place a week or so earlier and everyone was a suspect in the supposed crime. It must be understood that the people of McBean Missouri were figuratively frozen with fear because crimes of any kind were extremely rare in the town of McBean because the town was so small. In fact, McBean Missouri was so small that everyone knew each other and because of this fact people were very surprised that a crime had been committed here. Plus, because of the size of McBean everyone was a suspect in the alleged crime. It must also be understood that small towns and rumors go hand in hand. Therefore, it came as no surprise that there were many rumors flying around this town as to the type of crime that had been committed and who has committed the crime. Rumors were swirling around McBean Missouri that someone had murdered the town librarian over an overdue library book. There was another rumor that the town’s mayor, Mrs. White murdered Mr. Crumb because her child Georgia Peach White didn’t like her chocolate cake with apple pie ice cream. Georgia Peach wanted a chocolate cake with mint chocolate chip ice cream. There was a third rumor involving the stealing of Generic Viagra and Generic Cialis. The townspeople were very scared but they were reassured that the volunteer police department were looking into all of the rumors. The only thing that was certain was that the town of McBean Missouri would never be the same.

Crime was a word that Owen Stanley wasn’t familiar with because he had lived in the town of McBean al of his life. Plus, to Owen there was no such thing as crime. He believed that borrowing something from someone else was all right as long as it was an emergency. He believed that once he explained to the town and the volunteer police department exactly why he needed the Generic Viagra. He “borrowed” some Generic Viagra from Mr. and Mrs. Buttons because he needed to prove to his girlfriend that he was a lean mean sexual pleasure machine. If Owen couldn’t prove this to his girlfriend then, she was going to leave him Mr. Crumb because she loved his banana split cake and he also uses Generic Cialis to sexually satisfy himself and his alleged girlfriends. Owen felt safe because the town was all consumed with the murder rumors. His feelings of safety were short lived because police were knocking on his door at this very moment.

The police yelled at Owen to come out with the stolen medication. Mr. Crumb and Mrs. Dewey banged on his front door as well so Owen figured that the rumors of their murders had turned out to be false. The police yelled, “We know you’re not in England visiting Buckingham Palace because we saw you run into your house.” Owen wondered why the police were yelling about Generic Cialis when he had “borrowed” Generic Viagra because he couldn’t afford a prescription for it. He tried to explain this little fact to police along with his concept of “borrowing” for an hour. However, neither the police were buying his story. He was sentenced to 90 days community service which included rearranging and cleaning all of the children’s library materials using the Dewey Decimal System in the library and Owen also had to help Mr. Crumb come up with new cake recipes. Plus, he had to give lectures on the benefits of Generic Viagra to a bunch of senior citizens. After hearing his punishment, Owen thought that crime doesn’t pay.