Back in the Saddle with Generic Viagra

I'm a cowboy, mister, and howdy doody, do I have a Generic Viagra that'll stupefy you! OK, I'm not exactly a cowboy, but I'm from out west, and I've been seeing a girl from up north for several years now. So, you can imagine what direction most of her sexual allusions take... due west. She'd even make me dress the part sometimes, and take her to some cheesy big-city "honky-tonk" in cowboy garb and do line-dances. She'd find some dark corner and reach behind my huge belt-buckle and start swinging my "lasso" around. But until I started using Generic Viagra, my old John Wayne wasn't much harder than a piece of old rope, that's for sure. One fateful night at the bar, she reached behind that belt buckle and, instead of my tall and prickly seguro cactus, found a round, drifting tumbleweed. "You aren't shootin' at me with that puny pea-shooter!" she said, in that awful "Texas" accent she tries to imitate. "You'd better order that Generic Viagra, partner!" And with this ultimatum, she went off to ride the mechanical bull!

I sat in the corner, drank one whiskey after another, and watched as she rode that contraption, squealing with delight every time it bucked. I thought of the times recently, shameful to recall, when I'd found her riding our clothes dryer in the same way. With no Generic Viagra in my medicine cabinet, she'd been doing what it took to pleasure herself. And it was high time she and I got hitched, after dating for so long. But what girl would marry an old fart whose wild stallion refused to run? I wondered if some Generic Viagra would return me to my glory days, when old "Dirty Hairy" would strut around and jangle his spurs and shoot down anyone that got in his way.

She remembered those days all too well. I had only myself to blame- she'd come to expect the best. But now she wondered if I needed some Generic Viagra. She told me I needed to get "back in the saddle." "No wonder Dirty Hairy is stressed out, with all that riding! What do you expect, you bow-legged thing!" she teased me. She seemed to think that sitting in the saddle caused impotence, like sitting on a bicycle supposedly does. "I ain't gonna argue with you, little lady," I said. "I cain't fix your little wagon. I'm in a bad way." "Honey, order some Generic Viagra," she pleaded. "I'm randy as hell," she added, "I want you to lasso me to the ground and brand me." "Alright, alright, I'll order the dad gum Generic Viagra," I said, and headed straight for my computer to order online.

When my shipment arrived soon afterwards, I took some of the Generic Viagra shortly before dinner that night, and by the time we were done eating, I felt a tremor down there- my stallion was pounding the earth, ready to ride. I grabbed my little cowgirl, dragged her to the bedroom, and rode her into the ground. She was practically yodeling with pleasure... started singing "Back in the Saddle Again." When she'd scaled my rocky mountain peak, I emptied all six chambers of my Colt into her Grand Tetons, and finally she managed to catch her breath. "Why'd you wait so long to order that Generic Viagra?" she asked. "Well, I figured I'd be less of a man for the havin' ordered it," I said, embarrassed. "I reckon I didn't understand why I couldn't traverse your badlands the way I used to could. But I swallered my pride, and, lo and behold, Dirty Hairy rides again."