It’s time for a Holly Jolly Generic Cialis Christmas! Happy Holidays to all my male readers out there who, like me, have struggled with the Grinch of erectile dysfunction! Allow me to finish my cheerful Holiday tale, that will warm all of your Yule Logs, even if they’ve been cold and flameless for months on end. During the Holiday Season, hope springs eternal-especially when Generic Cialis has a place at your holiday feast. Light up your wife like she’s strung with Christmas lights, and just watch her blink and flash and laugh with joy. She’ll spread the happiness and satisfaction she receives in the bedroom around the entire home and neighborhood. She’ll start baking stuff, cooking turkeys and hams, and making figgy puddings. In this sense, Generic Cialis can change your entire life. Because having a down-in-the-dumps woman, determined to make everyone around her share her misery and depression, is almost unbearable, especially during the holidays. She’ll stop just short of telling your mother-in-law that you’re not giving her what she deserved in the sack. No, she won’t be honest enough to tell her precious mother that you need Generic Cialis. She’ll talk about your other shortcomings-not taking out the garbage, leaving the toilet seat up, and that sort of nonsense. Funny how when she’s being properly sexed, all of these earth-shattering problems of yours just seem to disappear, huh? You’ll learn a lot about female psychology when you begin experimenting with Generic Cialis. That much I can guarantee you. Oh, I can also guarantee you that the stuff works.

I remember my conversation with my cousin Joy about Generic Cialis. It was last year, at that miserable Christmas, over egg-nog generously spiked with whiskey. I just told him that my wife was also used to getting it hard around the holidays, and that, now that I was having trouble getting in the spirit of giving, the Ghost of Christmas Past was haunting us. Because my wife remembered those passionate nights of years past, in front of the fireplace, before I’d ever needed Generic Cialis. No wonder she was so depressed. I looked over at her-she was sipping some egg-nog in a corner-and our egg-nog was out of a carton she’d bought at the store. I knew she wanted the fresh, natural stuff. I knew that by New Year’s, my Generic Cialis would arrive, and I hoped that, perhaps, we’d begin the New Year by turning over a new leaf. My New Year’s Resolution would be to bang that poor girl like there was no tomorrow. Hey, maybe I’d burn a few calories in the process, and drop off some extra pounds-now that’s a weight-loss resolution you can actually keep! Shedding those pounds in the sack!

I’ve never seen my Johnson so excited! I thought it might spring to life just at the mere promise of getting some Generic Cialis for Christmas! I imagined it jumping merrily around the Christmas tree, just waiting for Santa to arrive and pump it full of mojo. On New Years, when my shipment finally arrived, and I fed a little love pill to my hungry Johnson, I waited to get a giant erection, then covered it with one of the stockings still hanging from the fireplace. With nothing else on, I went into the bedroom, and unveiled a magnificent erection for my wife. She began crying tears of joy. Then-I gave it to her. Since we’d just had some snowfall, I decided to give her a belated White Christmas. When we’d just about worn each other out, I dragged her out into the yard for some hot polar bear sex. It was pretty intense-I recommend that everyone try it once in their lives. When we were done, we had a nice Generic Cialis snow angel left in the front yard.

I’ve got an All-American Generic Viagra story to start off the holiday season. It’s sad to have a Thanksgiving when there’s no good sex to be thankful for. Who cares about the abundance of food, freedom, etc. when your Horn of Plenty is completely empty? This was my Generic Viagra dilemma last Thanksgiving, when it had become painfully obvious that I was turning into a good-for-nothing old fart as far as pleasuring my wife was concerned. She was miserable, after going for so long with no sex-and when the holiday season came around, she just got more depressed. The fact that the entire family was coming to our place just made things worse. It was as if she was embarrassed to show me to her parents again. I don’t know if she told them I needed Generic Viagra, and was just being a stubborn male in not ordering any, but they kept looking at me funny the entire time they were at our place. It didn’t help any that my wife broke down crying when she took out the turkey baster. She took it out sadly, filled it with juicy, warm liquid, and squirted some over the turkey; a nice, steady stream of filling poured out of it, covering the turkey’s nicely bronzed breast. That’s when she lost it. I guess she was jealous. And she shot me that “Buy Generic Viagra” look that I was so sick of. I gobbled like a turkey, angrily, and stormed off into the living room to watch football. I could hear her mom asking, “Baby, tell me what he did to you!” Imagine my shock when I heard my wife answer: “That’s the thing, mommy-he’s not doing anything to me! I’m undersexed!” “The monster!” my mother-in-law answered. Ha, I laughed cynically-I should buy her worthless old husband some Generic Viagra… a good roll in the hay would do that grumpy old bag a world of good.

I went into the living room to watch football with the guys. I was mad as hell and swore I wouldn’t speak to a woman in the house for the rest of the day. But I’ve got to admit, I didn’t feel worthy to watch football. Without Generic Viagra, I hadn’t given my wife the Cornucopia for months now. What kind of a man was I? Maybe I should take up flower gardening or knitting or something, if I couldn’t do any banging anymore. And deep inside, I knew that I was being stubborn. Because hell, why not order some Generic Viagra and give it a try? I knew I was letting my wife down. And besides, the lady was a total nymphomaniac. She was a real tigress in the bedroom. And I enjoyed her insatiable appetite. So why was I being so stubborn? It’s not like she was asking me to buy her a new walk-in-closet or some sort of nonsense like that. It would do me a lot of good to have a good lay, too. I was feeling pretty darn stressed out lately myself. I knew that working too much was probably contributing to my erectile dysfunction problem. If Generic Viagra had worked for million of other guys out there, then why couldn’t I give it a try?

Finally, I ordered the stuff. That very night, actually, when all of our guests had finally left, including the tyrannosaurus rex-oh, excuse me, my beloved mother-in-law. I vowed that I would use Generic Viagra to give my wife a year of fantastic sex, and that by the time next Thanksgiving rolled around, she’d be giving thanks for a year of bounty and prosperity and satiety and sexual feedom.

Guys of the world, I have a Generic Viagra horror story that’ll stupefy and shock you. It’s about the mother-in-law from hell. And if there’s one thing that can bring men together, it’s stories about mothers-in-law. You can sit two men at a bar, from opposite sides of the globe, from every culture, every background, and break the ice with this topic. “Hans, Jean, Bobby, Julio, Dikembe, Ahmed… here’s a topic. Why I hate my mother in law.” In a second, they’re talking-one horror story after another. Nothing like mothers-in-law, except, maybe, the wonders of Generic Viagra, can bring men together in quite the same way. Well, I’m convinced that my honey of a mother-in-law can stand up to anyone’s. First of all, she looks like a rugby player. Check that-an over-the-hill, overweight rugby player, fresh from wallowing in the mud, and with a drinking problem (I guarantee you she’s got a whiskey bottle in her underwear drawer, not to mention a flask in that purse of hers, next to that godawful scarlet lipstick she smears all over her face). Oh, she’s also obsessed with Generic Viagra.

I have no idea how a behemoth like her managed to squirt out a cute little hottie like my wife-makes me wonder if she was secretly adopted. On my wedding day, back before I ever dreamed of Generic Viagra, my mother in law, Beulah, comes up to me (in the church-nothing is sacred to this woman) and whispers in my ear that I’d better treat her daughter right that night at the hotel. She said women in her family were very sexual, and that she herself was a diagnosed nymphomaniac, and that she mixed Generic Viagra into her husband’s dinners just to keep herself satisfied. After that information, I’m surprised I managed to get a boner for the next month. It didn’t help that I had to watch Beulah feeding her face at the reception table afterwards, like a prize pig with its snout buried in a trough full of animal feed. I saw those fat jowls of her chewing her food and imagined her chewing up my manhood to bloody shreds. I wondered how much Generic Viagra her hen-pecked old husband Earl had to swallow every day to keep that juggernaut satisfied in bed.

Luckily, as I said, I was young then, and didn’t need Generic Viagra to work any miracles for me. When we finally escaped the wedding reception (our wedding cake looked like a war zone when Beulah was done ravaging it), a limo zipped us off to our honeymoon suite. Well, I began ripping my wife’s dress off in the car, and I got a hard-on like a church steeple in less time than it takes to say “Out of my bed, Beulah!” I swear, when we’d made it to the hotel, I was giving my wife the red-hot sex she’d taste again when, years later, I’d order my Generic Viagra. And just as I was taking my wife to orgasm for the third time, I hear this ringing. “Is that you, honey?” I asked, shocked. I thought her little kitten must be feeling pretty darn fine to be purring like a fire alarm. Then I realized. “What the hell? It’s the damn telephone!” Like an idiot, I picked up the receiver. It was my mother-in-law. She might as well have been lying under the bed listening, if she could fit under the bed. “Are you pleasuring my daughter up right?” she inquired. “Women in our family won’t tolerate being undersexed. I hoped you understand that.” This was the ominous start of my Generic Viagra saga.

Guys, are you like me? Have you ever wondered why it is that your wife’s so cranky? Unfortunately, you can’t ascribe all of her hysterics to pre-menstrual syndrome. Nope, it goes much deeper than that. It’s because you aren’t going deeply enough into her. And if you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction like I was, you won’t have the hardness or the endurance to give her what she needs, until you order some Generic Cialis online. If your wife is starting to seem unsatisfied with every little thing you do, you can rest assured-it’s all because she’s unsatisfied in the bedroom. Women are crazy like that-hormone levels and whatnot. If all it takes to recover your old virility is a little Generic Cialis, then why not do her and yourself a favor, and order some? Before I finally placed my order, it had been several months since I’d made love to my wife, and the lack of passion in the bedroom was reflected in every aspect of our life together, until I finally admitted that I had a major problem, and bought some Generic Cialis online.

Because when a woman’s not getting it in the bedroom, it shows it every room of the house. She starts to get picky. When she starts yelling at you about taking out the trash, guys, believe me… it ain’t about the trash. It’s about the fact that she hasn’t had an orgasm in the past two months. That’s when ordering Generic Cialis begins to seem very wise. When she finds the toilet seat up in the bathroom? Do you think it’s really about the toilet seat? A sexually satisfied woman would let it slide. What about that extra beer you open after dinner on a weekend? Guys, it’s not about the beer. She just wishes you’d bring her to a nice head of foam. Order some Generic Cialis already, and give it to her the way you used to. You’d be surprised what it’ll do for your marriage. Because the simple fact is that if the bedroom is as cold as a meat locker, the frustration is going to spill over into other aspects of your life, until you get real and order some Generic Cialis. Women like to pretend that they “don’t really need it.” What a load of bull. What they want more than anything is to “feel like a woman.” And that means feeling you inside them, long, hard, and strong.

After months of frustration in the bedroom, and petty recriminations in every other room of the house-about the trash, about the toilet seat, about that extra beer-I finally admitted that Mr. Winky and I had a little motivation problem, and I ordered some Generic Cialis. Nothing could be easier than ordering Generic Cialis online-everything’s completely discreet. No need to be embarrassed. Just click a button, and your Generic Cialis is at your doorstep in a matter of days. Then, you’ve got the secret weapon you need in your arsenal, to rouse your old warrior whenever the battle cry is heard. Once you start giving it to her again the way you used to, you’ll be surprised at how harmoniously your family life becomes again. We all know women are moody-and when they aren’t getting it in the you-know-where, they get really moody! Hey, who can blame them? We all want to get what’s coming to us. So do the lady a favor-order some Generic Cialis, and cut yourself loose. Pound her like there’s no tomorrow. Sure, your a little older. The stress at work may have taken its toll. It’s not like ordering Generic Cialis is some admission of defeat. All the stuff does is restore proper blood flow to your Johnson rod-it allows you to get hard and stay hard naturally, the way you used to.

And now, Generic Viagra enthusiasts, the thrilling finale to my All-American Thanksgiving Viagra saga, in which I take revenge on my evil mother-in-law, with the public humiliation she so deserved, after scoffing at my supposed lack of manhood the year before, at the last Thanksgiving. There, in my own home, she had made a mockery of my hospitality and good will when her daughter had broken down weeping the moment she took out the turkey baster. That’s right, this was before I’d ordered some Generic Viagra and cured my erectile dysfunction problem. My mother-in-law watched my wife, weeping, and immediately concluded that I wasn’t treating her right. It came out right there, in front of everyone, that I hadn’t been making her feel like a woman for months on end, and that she didn’t have a single orgasm to be thankful for. She’d been begging me to order some Generic Viagra, but I’d kept refusing, certain that if I worked out enough or went jogging or drank herbal tea, that things would look up. What a bunch of bull. The fact is that erectile dysfunction is a medical disorder, with many different causes. You aren’t going to cure it by thinking happy sexy thoughts. You’ve got to get serious and inject some Generic Viagra power into that puny, flaccid, wasting piece of man-meat between your legs. Well, after last Thanksgiving’s debacle, that’s exactly what I did, and my wife had been feeling the difference all year long. This year, she was ready to give thanks for the bounteous Horn of Plenty I’d been pounding her with all year. And I was determined to let her dear mother know just what a happy couple Generic Viagra had made the two of us.

When my wife got out the turkey baster this time around, with the entire family around, my mother-in-law, remembering well what happened last year, stood with a concerned hand on my wife’s shoulder, as if to help her in this traumatic moment. Little did she know that I’d been giving it to my wife with the help of Generic Viagra. I decided to tell her as much with a little pantomime demonstration. I snatched the turkey baster from my wife, held it up to my crotch, as if it were my fuming, volcanic manhood-and sprayed my juice all over my wife. I threw down the turkey baster and said proudly to my mother in law: “That’s right, Margaret! That’s what I’ve been doing to your little girl every other night for the past year!” (I didn’t mention Generic Viagra’s help, of course!) “Sex! I’ve been sexing her up like nobody’s business! Hard and rough! You like that?! When was the last time old Herbert there gave it to you like that? Isn’t it about time someone put a smile on your face, dear? You want me to baste you too, the way I’ve been basting your daughter?” And I sprayed the rest of my turkey juice onto her ridiculous dress. “It’ll come out in the wash,” I said. “It’s biodegradable!”

Wow, Generic Viagra had given me more courage than I’d ever had. I had confronted the great beast. She said, “Well, I never in my life!” I retorted, “Well, you did at least once-after all, you squirted out my wife! But, welcome to the new millennium, Margaret-sex isn’t just for reproduction! It can make you feel good, too!” She stormed out, pulling the hen-pecked Herbert behind her, saying, “I never, I never,” over and over again. And you know what? My wife was laughing her head off! Generic Viagra had sure turned the tables! Completely changed the family dynamics! I was victorious!

Have you ever lived in an apartment where the walls are made out of paper, like in those old-fashioned Japanese houses? Welcome to my world. Before I bought some Generic Cialis, it was downright unlivable, and I’ll explain why. I can hear everything my neighbors do to their little squealing geishas, morning noon and night, from above, from below, and from every side. Sometimes I wonder-did someone put some Generic Cialis in the building’s water supply, or what? Some of those neighbors of mine are a lot older than I am, and they’re going at it like champions. It’s like being back in the old college dorm, where people on every side of you were banging each other’s brains out 24 hours a day, without a care in the world. And you didn’t necessarily mind living in Hugh Hefner’s mansion, because you and your future wife were at it as well, banging like there was no tomorrow (and no mid-term tomorrow!), never dreaming that one day you’d need something called Generic Cialis. Heck, I just attended my10th-year college reunion last month-I’m not that old! Seems like just yesterday… all my erectile dysfunction troubles seemed so far away. Until they became serious, the noises from behind my apartment walls were just everyday nuisances. But when I realized I was no longer part of that chorus, it became downright depressing.

Oscar Wilde once said something to the effect that other people’s tragedies were unbearably banal. Let me paraphrase that into a bit of Generic Cialis wisdom, and say that other people’s sex banter is unbearably idiotic. If people only realized what they sounded like to their neighbors, they’d shut the hell up. I guess they don’t give it much thought, when they’re doing it like junkyard dogs. But imagine me, lying there in our desolate bed like some worthless old Balzac-my wife poking and teasing my flaccid little Speed Racer, which was obviously in desperate need for some Generic Cialis. I’m doing everything I can think of to recall Mr. Johnson to life-thinking happy thoughts, watching porn, applying lubricant, asking my wife to role-play, and things a lot kinkier than that. Of course, nothing worked, because unfortunately, having your wife put on a nurse costume won’t restore proper blood flow to your Slap Happy. As I later learned, Generic Cialis does just that, allowing you to get the rock-solid pillar of an erection you remember from your fraternity days. After months of playing games, and watching my poor wife head mournfully to pleasure herself with the shower nozzle, I finally broke down and placed my Generic Cialis order on the Internet.

On that fateful night when my Generic Cialis arrived, we had planned to have a “romantic” dinner at home, with candles and whatnot, so I slipped into the restroom and took my first dose. What the heck, I thought-we’ll see what comes of this! Before we’d even finished our dinner, the neighbors were at it. From behind every wall, we could hear their ridiculous cries of passion. “Give it to me! Please!” “Deeper, Mr. Jimmy, deeper!” “Harder, baby! Harder!” “Yes doctor! Yes doctor!” Luckily, the doctor had prescribed Generic Cialis! I looked at my wife, and realized I had a Herculean hard-on. And I suggested that we have rough, noisy sex. That night, we had our revenge on all of our noisy neighbors. I guess I should be thankful. I mean, it was their screaming and embarrassing me that finally made me order my Generic Viagra. I gave it hard to my wife that night, right there in the kitchen, on the countertop. And I made her scream bloody murder, too.

Every guy who’s reading this Generic Cialis story is going to relate to this sob story right here, because there’s no guy in the world whose woman hasn’t forced him to watch figure skating with her. What do they see in it? I guess it’s one of those female problems that we’ll never understand fully. Personally, I’d gladly watch, if they’d just skate naked. I bet it really shows in those knockers when they’re spinning in place. I wonder if that would have given me a hard-on. I was considering Generic Cialis-I’ll be honest. Because lately I couldn’t get a lasting erection to save my life. Back in my glory days, that was my way out of watching ice skating. Whenever she’d turn it on, and drag me to the couch to watch it with her, I’d just bend her over the sofa and give her the triple axle where it counts. In the days before I needed Generic Cialis, I’d make her moan so hard that I couldn’t even hear that insipid theme music they play during their skating routines. The only routine music she could hear was by Kenny G, if you catch my drift. I was going Tonya Harding on her Nancy Kerrigan-I mean, giving her the stick on her knees, and hard. Forget about skating-she could hardly walk by the time I had sprayed my snow all over her. I have only myself to blame-I’d gotten her used to great sex. So when I started having problems getting it up, she understandably insisted that I take drastic measures, even if it was ordering Generic Cialis.

I wasn’t immediately enthusiastic. Maybe I was complacent, maybe that competitive fire had left me. Maybe I was content to rest on my laurels. But hey, I enjoyed a good bang myself-who doesn’t? And I was more than happy to try some Generic Cialis, after I saw what it was like watching figure skating-and actually having to watch figure skating! I was miserable! I sat her on my lap, hoping that a little contact would get the attention of that little bald Scott Hamilton between my legs. Instead, he just sat on the sidelines, like a typical commentator. He was clearly going to need some Generic Cialis to break out of his early retirement-otherwise he’d soon be too fat and lazy to get up off that bean-bag sofa of his. As I sat watching the broadcast, with no Generic Cialis, hoping in vain that my Johnson would lace up his skates, my girlfriend asked the famous Russian skater, Oleg Getmeoff, would be skating today, and put her hand down my sweatpants. To her despair, I couldn’t respond to her touch the way I used to. I resolved then and there to order some Generic Cialis. Because I realized that it wasn’t really about the ice skating anymore. She just wanted me to get her off there on the sofa; the ice skating broadcast was just a pretext, just like Memorial Day is just an excuse to grill steaks. I swore that I’d have some Generic Cialis in hand by the end of the week, and grill her little pink steak to a crisp, or die trying!

It was so easy to order online, once I sat down and did it, that I was actually angry at myself for not doing it the minute I knew I had a problem. Life’s too short, guys. Too short to go without sex, not to mention living with an undersexed woman, when all it takes is ordering some Generic Cialis. When you can order online, there’s no reason to be insecure or anything silly like that. Just order the darn stuff, and pound your woman the way she wants it. Because-here’s the interesting thing: you’ll never realize how much she wants it, and needs it, until she’s not getting it. What can I say-women have a void in their lives that needs filling. Sometimes Generic Cialis is all it takes to fulfill that duty, and give it to her the way you used to.

I’ve got an amusing hockey-related Generic Cialis story. My woman and I met at a hockey game up in Toronto, so our relationship has always been centered around the sport we both love. Heck, I proposed to her at a freaking Leafs game, on the jumbotron. Luckily, she said yes. Little did she know that within two months of our engagement, I’d be struggling with erectile dysfunction, and thinking of ordering Generic Cialis. My stickblade, once long, straight, and rock hard, was now curving slightly, and I was having trouble firing. With the straight blade, I had amazing versatility-I was able to shoot from my forehand or my backhand, regardless of whether it was a close-range wrist-shot, or a long-distance slapper. When things began to slip, I made excuses-anything to avoid resorting to Generic Cialis, right? I told myself that the curved stick was giving me more velocity on my shots, and better control. But things kept getting worse. I was tired of my fluttering knuckle-pucks. I was almost ready to start taping up my old lumber. Unfortunately, life isn’t as simple as hockey-you can’t grab a fresh stick when the old one’s broken. And mine was utterly broken. In hockey, it’s illegal to continue play with a broken stick. You have to drop it immediately. I knew I’d have to get some Generic Cialis.

I have no idea what took me so long in the first place. I suppose that when you’re a natural goal-scorer, you want to take it yourself, and put the biscuit in the basket. Somehow, I felt that ordering Generic Cialis would be like being sent down to the farm team. Sure, I might score a few goals, but it’d be different. I only realized how silly I’d been when the stuff arrived, and I started using it. All Generic Cialis does is restore your natural goal-scoring ability-puts the glide back in your skating stride. It’s all about restoring proper blood flow, that’s all. When the blood can flow naturally to your stick, you can get a natural erection, whenever you’re properly aroused. It’s as simple as that. So I soon came to view Generic Cialis as something that was liberating, something that was allowing me to get aroused and stay aroused, just as I had when I was an up-and-coming rookie.

And that’s what I did. After a seven-game scoreless streak, I told my honey that my slumping center would be scratched indefinitely. “Order some Generic Cialis, eh?” my fiancée begged. “Your old Rocket Richard can get back in the game!”

I pulled out my Broad Street Bully and positioned myself in the slot, diverting the defense with several dekes, until I got the rock, and hammered a slapshot right through her five-hole. Pretty soon she was calling me “The Great One.” I said, “Honey, you know what happens when the Great One goes to work in his office! He’s got a natural nose for the puck.” Especially when he’s doping with Generic Cialis, I thought to myself! My Roberto Luongo was long and hard, a true competitor. When it was all over, and she’d sipped from my Lord Stanley, she held him aloft, and stroked him proudly. We went to the living room, curled up on the couch together, and watched the Leafs game. I asked her how my maple syrup was treating her, and she asked for seconds. “Whoah, there aren’t any double-headers in hockey, now!” I said. After the triple-overtime epic confrontation we’d just been through, I wasn’t exactly up for another face-off right that minute! What can I say, I guess Generic Cialis has its limits after all! But I was sure glad I’d ordered the stuff.

Let me continue my Happy Holiday Generic Cialis tale. It’ll warm your heart. And light a fire in your bedroom, if you take my advice. Burn the barn down. Fix her little red wagon. My wife was suffering this time last Christmas, when my erectile dysfunction difficulties were at their peak. At the holiday gatherings with family and friends, she was almost ashamed to introduce me as her husband-as if wanting the world to suspect that she was undersexed. I have to say, before I got my Generic Cialis, that look of “do me” was written on her face. An experienced eye can always spot it in a woman’s look. So I even began to worry that she might begin looking for love in all the wrong places. I pictured her car screeching out of the driveway, one sexless Christmas eve, and heading off for the nearest bar, to try to hook up with some loser who was spending Christmas alone, just like her. That might have been the last straw. I decided to treat myself to some Generic Cialis, and even ordered it on Christmas day. I felt strange, sitting there at my computer, ordering something to bring life back to my little gingerbread man, while everyone in the next room was partying. But it only took a second to do it, and when I went back to join the festivities, I already felt better. In a matter of days, I’d have my Generic Cialis in hand.

I spiked a glass or three of egg-nog with some whiskey and slurped it down. Pretty soon I had the lampshade on my head, and started blabbering about how I’d ordered Generic Cialis, and that my wife would be getting her “real present” in a matter of days. Yes, that was a bit embarrassing. Surprisingly, my wife hardly even cared. Instead of the look of shock you might expect, she actually smiled at the news. Her mother, of course, gasped, and said that Generic Cialis was from the devil. I wanted to throw the stupid old bag right out of my house, and into the snow, but I managed to control my drunken self. We all had some cake, and I discussed with some of my male relatives the virtues of Generic Cialis. Turns out a lot of them had used it to spice up the holiday sex. It was a lot more effective than swallowing raw oysters, or sitting at your computer doing different penis massages you can find on the Internet. Nope, they said I’d been smart to order Generic Cialis, and not some hokey penis pump or balm or unguent or herbal tea made from the ground-up claws of a Siberian tiger.

The simple fact was that men like them, around the world, and millions of them, had been using Generic Cialis for almost a decade now, and that that many men couldn’t possibly be wrong. The fact was that the stuff worked, plain and simple. My cousin Joe said he’d ordered some around Thanksgiving, and assured me that his wife’s Twelve Days of Christmas had been accompanied by Twelve Nights of Hard Banging… usually wearing little elf hats with bells on the end. I told him I wasn’t sure I needed Generic Cialis adventures that were quite that kinky-that I was a meat and potatoes kind of guy when it came to sex. Sure, I liked to roughen things up a bit from time to time, but otherwise, I was a gentle, tender lover-a real gentleman. I was determined to give my wife a Christmas to remember as soon as my power pills arrived at our doorstep.

I’ve got a Generic Viagra story involving that great American pastime-backyard grilling. My wife and I have always enjoyed grilling out on the back porch, since before we were married. Needless to say, it’s not just dinner we’re cooking up out there, if you know what I mean. Back before I even needed Generic Viagra, things used to get a bit steamy over that hot grill, with all that grease and smoke and juicy, succulent meat. I’ve grilled my Bavarian sausage out there many, many times as well, not to mention someone’s tuna steak. In those days before the Generic Viagra era, I used to lean my then-fiancée back on a piece of patio furniture and sear that red meat to a tender, crispy brown, then pull out my baster and marinate her until she glistened all over. Now that’s finger-lickin’ good! Sometimes she’d even wear nothing but a “grillmaster” apron, and threaten me mockingly with a couple of grilling utensils-that was all it took for me to get a hickory stick hard-on that could’ve choked a wildebeest. Then, suddenly, our idyllic backyard existence was shattered. I needed Generic Viagra. I couldn’t get a hard-on to save my life.

Until I finally ordered the Generic Viagra, things were rough around the barbecue pit. Imagine my despair as I tended the grill, and my wife sat there sadly on her patio furniture, looking at the ground, as I looked at the Bavarian sausage simmering on my grill and thought-well, you can imagine what I thought. At least she’d be eating this Bavarian sausage tonight! Until the Generic Viagra arrived, I’d have nightmares, where she’d drizzle my kielbasa with some sweet honey mustard, and declare that “You won’t be needing this anymore!” I won’t tell you what she did next-just that she wrapped a hot-dog bun around it first. Those dreams scared me straight-literally. I decided to order some Generic Viagra, and recover my grillmaster status, at any price. So finally, I went online and ordered this miracle sauce. I’d heard from certain acquaintances, who shall remain nameless, that the stuff had worked for them-so why wouldn’t it work for me? For some stupid reason, I was skeptical. Or, rather, I was ashamed that I, the famous Kielbasa Brown, the Beast from the East, needed some erectile dysfunction medication. I never dreamed I would need Generic Viagra. Of course, later I learned that all it does for you is restore your natural ability to grill a girl up just right. I was just stressed out, from working too much overtime, more than likely. Something was interfering with the blood flow to my Jimmy Johnson. So what did I have to be self-conscious about, for crying out loud? If Generic Viagra would allow me to give it to my wife on the back porch the way I did when she was still my fiancée, then what did I have to lose?

I’ll never forget what went down the first time after my special sauce had arrived. I swallowed a dose a half-hour or so before it was time to grill. My wife came out half-heartedly, with her little apron on, and her pert breasts bulging, very lonely, from beneath the apron straps. That was all it took! Generic Viagra sure lived up to its reputation. I left the steaks to simmer on the grill, as I pulled out my salami and speared her with it most profoundly. She began moaning and screaming and didn’t stop for an hour; before long, I couldn’t tell which meat it was I heard sizzling. Funny, when I pulled out and doused her, she was cooked to perfection, pink and tender. The steaks were burnt to a crisp-couldn’t have cut those things with a buzzsaw. So we went out for pizza. Sure, it took her a while to walk to the car. But she wasn’t complaining!