I’ve got a sports-related Generic Cialis story to share. I guess everyone’s girlfriend has her little obsessions. It’s especially nice when that obsession is a major league sport. My special lady is a hoops fan, just like I am. She even calls my manhood “tenacious D,” or sometimes, “Rodman,” or “Clyde the Glide,” or “Pistol Pete.” Long story short, she’s never at a loss for sexual nicknames for my Jimmy V. Lately, until I started taking Generic Cialis, she’d thought of some new names, though, that were less flattering. Names like “Detlev Schrempf” and “Mugsy Boggs” and “Adolf Rupp.” Hmm, not sure what she meant by that last one, but I assure you, it wasn’t good! Who can blame the girl? She hadn’t seen a fast break down her lane for several months. She’d beg me to order some Generic Cialis, and when I refused, she’d get in my face, like Bobby Knight: “You don’t want the ball! You don’t have the desire to drive to the hoop and stick it in the hole! You don’t have the heart of a champion!” “Baby,” I said, “I’ve got the heart, I just need to train my muscles, drink some protein shakes…” She threw a chair across the room. “What you need is a Generic Cialis shake!”

Makes things very convenient, I must say, to have a woman who loves watching hoops. I remember the glory days, before I even needed Generic Cialis, when I gave it to her in the nose-bleed seats of Madison Square Garden during the fourth quarter. How’d I do it, you ask? Let’s just say that the Knicks were getting blown out, and the crowd had thinned, so I spread out her big team jacket on top of us, and blew her out, before driving hard to the hoop. Believe me, those big team jackets can cover a multitude of sins. I’d never have imagined, in those days, that I’d need Generic Cialis. I used to get her off at my place, when she’d stop by for a game on TV. Who wouldn’t enjoy getting their woman off on the sofa, while continuing to watch the game over her shoulder? Brings new meaning to the phrase “come correct.” I always came correct, back before my little erectile dysfunction problem arose, and I began to consider whether or not I should order some Generic Cialis. I hadn’t been getting the playing time I was used to, that’s for sure!

The big game was that Saturday afternoon, and my Generic Cialis arrived, just as scheduled, on Friday morning, right at my doorstep. I had my first dose a half hour or so before my girlfriend was supposed to stop by my place to “watch the game.” I’m sure she didn’t expect to miss a single moment of the action that day, considering how lackluster my play had been. She didn’t know I’d ordered the Generic Cialis! So imagine her surprise when, just after the opening whistle, I bent over and began whistling on her harmonica. She moaned, calling me “His Airness,” and then begged me to crash the boards. I had assumed the triple threat position, that’s for sure! With Generic Cialis, I was a potent offensive threat from long range, hitting several trifectas in a row. Then I drove to the lane, with a nifty give-and-go, and slammed her hard, shattering her backboard. Then I pulled out and delivered the facial. After all was said and done, we finally turned around and looked at the television. It was the fourth quarter. Knicks 104, Pistons 58. These are sorts of results Generic Cialis has given me!

Sit back, and I’ll tell you my bowling-related Generic Cialis story. You see, I met my current girlfriend at the local bowling alley. Sure, you may think I cruise the lanes just looking for an easy score, but hey, I don’t roll like that. For me, it’s all about the bowling. I play in a league, and our team is a band of brothers that no woman could ever come between. To give you a little background, I’d been having a slight erectile dysfunction problem for the past year or so, but I hadn’t ordered any Generic Cialis. I guess I didn’t care too much about getting my rocks off, as long as the team was winning-and anyway, I hadn’t seen any girl in particular who really caught my eye. Until that fateful night at the lanes when I ran into Shirley. She had her own bowling team of broads, all with matching pink shirts; her teammates looked like a couple of football players, but she was a cute little something, her tight pink shirt squeezing her pert breasts together. Can you imagine looking at that, and see her hoisting that heavy ball between her cleavage, and not getting a rock-hard center pin? Before Generic Cialis, though, my shiny center pin just stood for a moment, wobbled around a bit, and then finally toppled over, rolling lifelessly into the gutter. Sure, that’s usually a good thing in bowling, but not when you’re rolling on that long pink lane between her legs! I longed to do that, but I knew that until I ordered some Generic Cialis and got some serious help for my erectile dysfunction problem, I wouldn’t roll worth a crap.

For a week or so there, I’d see Shirley at the lanes, and invite her over to the bar for a soda or something. Pretty lame, when what I really wanted to do was take her out to the parking lot and go bowling for cherries. For some reason I was reluctant to order Generic Cialis, even though I was quickly realizing that it was my only hope. I was so distracted that I was bowling poorly, and our team was falling in the standings. It was because I had a negative self-image, as my sports psychologist said; I couldn’t picture myself as the champion, and so I would never actually become the champion. One night, after several beers, as the lanes were closing down, I confided in a teammate that I was having serious problems, and was considering ordering Generic Cialis. He slapped me on the back and cheered me up. “I know, it’s a difficult step for a man to take. It involves admitting that we need a little help down there. But it’s just shooting yourself in the… foot, to put off ordering it. All it does is help restore your blood flow-that’s all you need to get an erection. Well, that, and a hot piece of flesh in front of you. You’ve got that, I’ve noticed! I’ll admit to you, though-I’ve been using Generic Cialis for over a year now. And I’ve been bowling strikes ever since-at the lanes, and in the bedroom. Order some. Our team needs you!”

Following his advice, I got on the Internet and placed my Generic Cialis order; and by the time the next bowling night rolled around, I was good to go. I took my first dose in the parking lot; I rolled in our match, and afterwards, taking Shirley to the parking lot, I rolled her as well. I’ll describe both rounds simultaneously: at first, the balls seemed abnormally heavy, probably because I hadn’t used them in so long. I had trouble lifting them. But thanks to Generic Cialis, they were soon rolling like champions, hard and straight, and with devastating power. Strike after strike after strike, no gutterballs. I was putting some wicked spin on it too, which made Shirley squeal with delight. I guess I got excited near the end, and became a bit hasty-but I recovered, and picked up the split, displaying some amazing technique. Because of Generic Cialis, I went home that night with the trophy.

I’ve got a Generic Viagra story that’s all about irony. The irony of fate! Ironic, is it not? The degree to which men can start sounding like women when it comes to their manhood? The slightest little problem, and we get more hysterical than any woman. Because, we must admit, women are practical in their way. If they have one of those problems they have down there, it’s off to ten doctors, and ten pharmacies, and they’re popping pills and applying creams until the problem goes away. Why is it so hard, then, for a man to order some Generic Viagra? There’s no denying that you have a little problem, dangling there lifelessly between your legs. You haven’t heard your woman groan in weeks, even months, and now you’re the one acting womanish. Instead of getting real and ordering some Generic Viagra – something you know will help-you refuse to admit that you need any help.

There are several stages of grief a man goes through when his Johnson craps out on him. Yes, it’s the same as losing a child. The first is denial, of course. I’m not ordering any Generic Viagra, because I don’t have a problem. Little Jimmy’s not dead! He’ll come around! He’s just sleeping! Slap him around a bit, he’ll stir back to life! Massage him or something. Stick his head in between a woman’s legs, and he’ll be roused from his slumber! Yeah, right. The fact is, he’s not going to respond to anything-especially not to wishful thinking-when he’s not getting the proper supply of blood. Generic Viagra can help with that. But no, you’d rather wallow in self-pity. I’m useless, I’m not a man, I’m a castrated, impotent, erectionless old stallion who’s ready to be put out to pasture, or shipped off to the glue factory. Sure, thoughts of death may creep in. If Little Jimmy can be cut down by fate, in the prime of his life, then why not us? This is when things get really heavy. You’ll find yourself dreaming about your high school days, when you’d get a world-class hard-on for anything that moved. Or college, when a night without sex was the exception, not the rule. Before you start living in the past, order some Generic Viagra, like I did, and get a second lease on life.

What’s the next womanish “stage of the grieving process,” without Generic Viagra? Acceptance, right? Think you’ll “make peace with your loss”? Or “find closure”? Give me a freaking break! The fact is, this is one loss a man can never make peace with, no matter how old he is. Here’s some more irony for you-a wise, beer-guzzling Czech novelist once said that young poets think of nothing but death, and old men think of nothing but women. What’s up with that? Better order some Generic Viagra – because even though you may be a little older, your desire for women is likely to increase, especially when you sense, in despair, that every woman you have may be your last! Don’t give in to despair, when you can take practical measures, like ordering Generic Viagra. While there’s still hot blood in your body, there’s a rock-hard erection left in your old soldier. Because erections are all about blood flow, as I said. Don’t be a woman-don’t bring psychology into it. It’s not head games, it’s not a matter of willpower. It’s all about circulation. With Generic Viagra, you’ll respond naturally to a woman’s touch, and with your towering erection, you’ll touch parts of her she didn’t even know existed. So, get over those womanish complexes and hysterics. Be a man, for crying out loud.

I’ll just continue my Generic Viagra tale of horror-the tale of my mother-in-law’s obsession with her daughter’s sex life. When the crazy old bag rang up our honeymoon suite to see whether or not I was giving her precious daughter the satisfaction she deserved, I just about lost it. My erection, I mean. What do you expect? I’m lucky I didn’t need Generic Viagra that week of my wedding, after this traumatic, emasculating experience. But in fact, I was a vigorous young stud, and I kept my wife properly sexed for many happy years. I burned her little red barn down on an almost nightly and-how to put it?­-morningly basis! We had sex that could peel the wallpaper off the walls, and my wife emitted shrieks of ecstasy that could shatter light bulbs. Nope, no need for her to secretly mix in a little dash of Generic Viagra into my dinners, the way my evil mother-in-law Beulah did for her husband Earl! Although, I sometimes worried, and would, out of paranoia, imagine that I saw little blue specks in my spaghetti sauce.

I had nightmares about my Long Dong Silver sucking up those tiny blue pills like a vacuum cleaner, or like some stupid elephant trunk, and getting bigger and longer with every pill it swallowed. Then, in my dream, with a colossal Generic Viagra erection, I’d step into my bedroom, pull back the covers, and, instead of my sweet little wife, the covers would reveal-a fat, hairy sow wallowing around in filth, trying to imitate those mud-wrestling cuties on TV, and repeating the words: “Women in our family… women in our family… women in our family!!!” And laughing maniacally, extending a plate towards me that was full of more blue Generic Viagra pills, that even she was snacking on! I knew the continuation of her mantra about “our family.” Women in her family, as my mother-in-law had told me on the day of my wedding, were very sexual creatures, and would not tolerated being undersexed. I could tell she wondered if I needed Generic Viagra to keep her daughter happy-and I was freaking 25 years old at the time!

Hell, back then, not only did I not need Generic Viagra, but I could sit across from my wife in a restaurant, and I’d get a woody hard enough to lift the table off the ground! I’d have to drape the tablecloth over it just to keep the waiter from kicking me out of the place. Of course, a couple of times, my wife just had to duck under the table and help me get my rocks off. No worries-by the time we’d make it home for dessert, and I saw her curling her lips around a spoonful of ice cream, I’d rise to the occasion again. When you’re that young and vigorous, it’s hard to think you’ll ever need Generic Viagra, or have an erectile dysfunction problem, no matter what your mother-in-law thinks. Unfortunately, the years of happy, incinerating sex passed by like a dream, and soon, I was several pounds heavier, and flaccid all-too-often. Every month or so the stars would align, and I’d get a raging Red Baron just like in my glory days, and my wife would ride me into the ground like a bucking rodeo bull. But that happened a bit too rarely. I began considering some Generic Viagra. Especially when my mother-in-law got wind that my wife was only getting sex once a week or so. You’d have thought I was only feeding her dinner once a week or so!

Halloween can be a fun time for lovers of Generic Viagra. I mean, if nothing else, it can be a fun excuse to bring some role playing into the bedroom, and spice things up a bit. The Good Witch Brenda riding on a broomstick? Need I say more? That’s what my girlfriend and I did last Halloween. Although, I didn’t quite dress up as a broom. I wore a sort of black spandex body suit, wore black makeup on my face, black gloves, black socks, everything, so that I’d disappear completely into the night. Of course, I took some Generic Viagra before leaving the house too. Because I needed to be hard like a broomstick. That’s right, the only body part that protruded from my black suit and makeup was my big, long broomstick. My stick itself was dark and brown to start with, so it didn’t require much makeup! I just dyed its bristles yellow, to make them look like straw, and even tied a little red string around the base, to make it look like a real broom. Thanks to the Generic Viagra, by the time I knocked on my girl’s door and said “Trick or Treat,” my Tricky Dicky had gotten long and hard and ready to treat. It looked just like a big broom! And since the rest of me blended with the darkness around me, it was as if this huge, magic broom was flying around all by itself, looking for someone to give a ride to. It was kinky as hell.

My girlfriend, who knew that I’d been planning to order some Generic Viagra, was well prepared herself. She opened the door as a nasty young witch, with a green face and a long, warty nose. But she wasn’t exactly a traditional witch. She was all business, with a sexy leather suit on, with leather straps and buckles and spikes and whatnot. Oh, and a pointy black hat. There was also a conspicuous hole in her outfit-right around her pleasure pantry, for easy access. She saw my Generic Viagra engorged erection, and cackled with delight. “What a magnificent broom! I wish to mount it!” She threw me onto the couch, and, without even having to take her clothes off, inserted me into her bubbling, steaming witch’s brew, which I stirred patiently, for an hour or two, contributing, in the process, my own special potions. With Generic Viagra, staying rock hard until the broth bubbled over was no problem-and the entire time, my girlfriend laughed and cackled demonically. Afterwards, she said that she really had felt as if she was flying around the room on her magic broom, even around the globe. It was as if she were dancing about on the top of some evil mountain, at Walpurgisnacht, when all the witches gathered to celebrate an orgy of evil.

We had a real laugh when, a couple of hours later, it was all over. Generic Viagra had given me amazing staying power! Finally, I’d decided that we needed a breather, and after my sexy little witch had climaxed for the second time, I doused her with a special magic potion. When she’d wiped off her leather suit, we retired to the kitchen, for some Halloween candy. Funny, she’d put some Generic Viagra pills in with a jar of jelly beans! “You can’t fool me, you naughty witch!” I joked. “I can tell there are some jellybeans mixed in with these magic erectile dysfunction pills!” With that, I took another Generic Viagra dose, because I knew we’d be getting it on again in an hour or so-the night was still young, and that outfit of hers was making me horny as hell.

Let me wish a happy holiday season to all of my Generic Viagra readers out there. Peace, my brothers! You may have read my story about my miserable Thanksgiving last year, when my undersexed wife, having gone for several months without a single good pounding, embarrassed me by breaking down crying in front of the entire extended family (including my hated-and by hated, I mean dearly beloved-mother-in-law) when she took out the turkey baster to baste the turkey with. That was a classic Generic Viagra moment. I guess every guy who’s used the stuff had some straw that broke the camel’s johnson kind of moment, when all of his stubbornness and denial just flew right out the window. Well, when my wife blabbed to her precious mother about how I wasn’t sexually satisfying her, I couldn’t believe my ears. I knew I wouldn’t be able to look anyone in the face next Thanksgiving unless I tried some Generic Viagra, and gave my wife something to give thanks for over the coming year. So I ordered some of those miraculous pills that very day, just after the last football game was over, and waited patiently for it to be delivered. It was-and very discreetly!-in just a couple of days. I ripped open the package and looked at my beautiful pills. And so, I took my first Generic Viagra dose.

My wife was at the dad gum shopping mall, enjoying (if one can possible enjoy it) the first day of the holiday shopping system. What crass consumerism! I wanted to cook up something else for her to consume-and I don’t mean Thanksgiving leftovers. Long story short, when she came home from shopping, I was waiting for her on the front porch, with no clothes on (our home is secluded!). My giant Generic Viagra erection was imposing and frightening. At first, my wife let out a scream of shock. Then, she joined me on the porch swing, where I banged her for all she was worth. By the time she was done moaning, every dog in the neighborhood was howling. I’m sure they thought someone was dying. Nope, it was just la petite mort- or, “the little death,” as the French refer to orgasm. Generic Viagra had sure done the trick. I realized that I could continue taking it all year, and make my wife a very happy woman. That night, I heard her calling her mother in the next room, to assure her that I had finally fulfilled my responsibility as a man. Good grief, I thought-I’d be willing to take some Generic Viagra and pound my mother-in-law just to rid her of her complexes. On second thought, no, I wouldn’t do that! That’s just sick! But what can I say-the silly old bag needs a good stuffing.

And so it was. With Generic Viagra in my medicine cabinet, I could pop a pill anytime I sensed a sexual showdown looming, and be sure to rise to the occasion. Before I had thought that the stuff would just give you a massive hard-on for eight hours straight or something. Let’s face it, no man needs that exactly. That’s just unnatural-straight out of Frankenstein. The fact was, Generic Viagra just let me respond to stimulation naturally, the way I used to, back in college. My wife was thrilled. We had a long, happy year. And when Thanksgiving came again, we had a lot to be thankful for. But that’s another story. If you’ll keep reading, maybe you’ll come across the continuation-and my epic final confrontation with my horrible, bottom-feeding, bottom-dwelling beast of a mother-in-law.

My Generic Viagra story is connected with my place of business, since that’s where I met my woman, and where I like to give it to her a good part of the time. I may not have the manliest job in the world-I work at a plant store. No, I’m not exactly a cowboy. Although, we do some landscaping too, shoveling compost and manure and stuff like that into the backs of trucks, which is pretty manly if you ask me. My girlfriend certainly thinks so. We met long before I needed Generic Viagra, when she was browsing the shop just before closing. I asked her if she’d like some marigolds or pansies, or maybe something more exotic. Then she leaned over the counter, her pert breasts, bra-less, dangling before my eyes, and, licking her lips, asked me for a “banana tree.” Like an idiot, at first I answered that we didn’t have any bananas. “Oh yes you do!” she said, unzipping my fly, and plunging every inch of my bulging plantain right into her mouth. Back then, before the Generic Viagra era, I was ready to go at a moment’s notice, whenever that’s what it took to please a customer. In my girlfriend’s case, I helped her out of her pants, and got down to business. “Nice shrub!” I said. “I can tell it’s been recently trimmed-it’s just precious!” “And you’re a soft, pink tulip head on a long stem!” she replied. Wasn’t sure if I liked the metaphor, but hey, until I realized I needed Generic Viagra, I didn’t have any inferiority complexes. So I let it slide, quite literally. Like a good gardener, I weeded her red rose bed, then watered it thoroughly with a special growth serum, spraying it all over her (an even coat is important).

The only time she began to doubt my manhood was when I began having erectile dysfunction difficulties. She immediately began begging me to order some Generic Viagra, because, of course, she knew what a reputation it had. For the past several months, our encounters hadn’t been as successful as we had hoped. My proud flower was wilting, its head drooping sadly on a flaccid stem-and I thought about it every time I made the rounds of the greenhouse, plucking dead blossoms off of otherwise healthy plants. I was in the prime of life, and I needed Generic Viagra already? Maybe I’d been working too hard. Maybe I should work out, or something. My old garden hose was soft and half-rotten; before, with its patented power spray head, it had shot a broad, steady stream; now, I couldn’t even coax a drop from it. I was at a loss. Then, I began doing some research.

I didn’t realize that, quite simply, Generic Viagra helps you get back to nature, by restoring the natural circulation to your roots and stem, nourishing your tulip head with the blood it needs to develop a hard and lasting erection. I liked the sound of that, because I’m into organic gardening. I don’t want some bizarre sex treatment that’ll give me 48-hour erections. Generic Viagra simply allows me to respond to my woman the way I used to, in a natural way. Just last night, I took some for the first time, before my girlfriend was supposed to stop by. Long, and I mean long, story short-I took her out back to the greenhouse, where things were appropriately hot, moist, and steamy, and, surprising her with my towering, exotic Generic Viagra erection, laid her back on an empty portion of a plant stand, and planted her.

I have a real passion for literature. Oh, also for great sex. Sometimes light and lucid, like some beautiful Hemingway prose; but sometimes long, rough, and convoluted, like Faulkner. Maybe I sound a bit dull, but give my Generic Cialis story a chance. You see, I teach high school English. Pretty glamorous, right? Well, what can I say, I’m training the future leaders of tomorrow to write book reports-a skill they’ll definitely need to succeed in today’s business world! And where will they get in life if they can’t diagram a sentence properly? Come to think of it, my job often seemed quite useless. So I thought to come on it. On that little hottie who’d just set up shop in the classroom across the hall from me. She was the reason I ordered Generic Cialis in the first place, because I knew that, as a slightly older man, and one who’d spend a few too many late nights grading semi-literate essays on “The Scarlet Letter,” that I wasn’t quite as energetic as I used to be, and might have trouble raising the “Red Badge of Courage” when I heard the battle cry. After a week or so of watching my new colleague strutting down the hallway, I ordered my Generic Cialis immediately, and kept some in my desk drawer at work, ready to be used. I had “Great Expectations” to say the least.

This little cutie was one of those idealistic high school teachers straight out of college-you know, the ones who study pedagogy and think they’ll make a difference. I was a bit more cynical, a bit more wise. But Generic Cialis and the sight of her at the blackboard were enough to make a Romantic even out of an old crow like me. As Keats wrote: “Give me women, wine, and snuff, until I cry out, ‘Hold, enough!’ / For bless my beard, they aye shall be my beloved trinity.” A delightfully blasphemous poem. Wonderful iambic tetrameter verse. And thanks to Generic Cialis, I had a bulging tetrameter iamb that was ready to eat its way through my pants just to get at that sweetheart. You should have seen the way her juicy melons dangled as she stretched to write something on the blackboard! Now that’s “A Moveable Feast”! I was amazed at my “metamorphosis” down there. I had gone from a puny Dr. Jekyll to a raging, rabid, blood-engorged Mr. Hyde. Generic Cialis had simply restored proper blood flow to my nether regions. I felt as if my Samuel Johnson could breathe properly again; now, indeed, it was like Gulliver among the Lilliputians-a towering, impressive figure. With my proud Ozymandias throbbing, I walked across the hall after school and made my move.

“Hello there, Kate!” I said, depositing a ripe red apple on her desk. An apple for the teacher, right? Soon I’d slip her a banana as well. Because my Generic Cialis was really kicking in. “How was your day?” she asked. “OK,” I lied. “We’ve been discussing Moby Dick all day. What a magnificent beast!” I said. “That’s one of those books I wish would never end,” she agreed. “It leaves me so satisfied-and yet, wanting more.” “Oh, so you appreciate longer novels?” I asked. “Do you prefer Dickens, or Balzac?” This was the oldest English teacher pick up line in the book, but with Generic Cialis, I didn’t mind if I was a bit too obvious-after all, with that thing sticking out practically in her face, I couldn’t exactly hide anything. “Actually,” she retorted, “I prefer Mark Twain-you know, Samuel Longhorn Clemens!” She grabbed my longhorn and pinched it a bit. We ran to my car, and I drove her back to my place, for an entire night of hard frat-house style sex. Generic Cialis had given her exactly what she needed.

My girlfriend and I met at the local track-we’re both track and field enthusiasts. Always jogging around the track, running marathons, trying our hand at decathlon events, like putting the shot or throwing the discus. Like all of our fellow fans, we’d been disturbed by recent stories about doping scandals in the sport. Imagine our surprise when it became clear that I needed some Generic Cialis to boost my performance! As we all know, good sex isn’t about racing through some hundred-meter dash. To really make a woman happy, you’ve got to stay upright throughout the entire marathon-no hanging your head, no gasping for air, no dragging yourself across the finish line! My woman insisted that I use some Generic Cialis. Who can blame her for such desperate measures? She’d been doing without for months, watching my performance sag and sag, until finally I was forced to withdraw from competition completely. I realized that if I didn’t at least try some Generic Cialis, she’d start looking for a new sponsor.

All of this erection-enhancing substances talk led to quite a debate. I was the idealist, the purist, you might say. For some irrational reason, I felt that if I was too old to continue competing at my previous level of excellence, without Generic Cialis, then maybe it was time to hang up my golden shoes, and clean out my locker. If I resorted to any erectile dysfunction medications, I felt as if anything I achieved would be undeserved, that I’d be a fraud. Finally, my lady talked some sense into me. She said that the only thing Generic Cialis would do for me was unlock my natural talent, by increasing blood flow to my javelin. I was still in the prime of life, for crying out loud! For whatever reason-fatigue, or stress-I was slumping, and was having trouble out of the gate, with one false start after another. She didn’t see any shame in ordering Generic Cialis, if that’s all it took to restore me to championship form. Finally, I relented, and made that fateful phone call. Even the slightest hope of reviving my career couldn’t be ignored. And, needless to say, I’d heard from some fellow runners, some of them a lot younger than me, that they’d had success with Generic Cialis. Sure, they didn’t broadcast it to the world, but pour enough beer into him, and a man will spill all of his secrets.

One month of record-breaking sex later, and I could kick myself for not having ordered Generic Cialis earlier. I’d missed a lot of valuable training time-what can I say, I’m hung like a champion, but I’m never satisfied, I’m always pushing further, deeper, harder, trying to be the best I can be. My girlfriend said I was back in top form, straining the very limits of human endurance, thanks to Generic Cialis. I’ll never forget the night I met her in the empty locker room, after a night of running. I’d just taken some of my performance enhancer an hour or so earlier. We were both sweaty, grimy-but sometimes I like it like that. I dragged her into a massage room, put her up on the table, peeled her little running shorts off of her, and gave her some decathlon action, complete with massage lotion. With Generic Cialis, endurance was no problem-I had explosive speed, power, and the energy and conditioning to finish the deal. My woman gasped with delight as, in the final event, I pulled back, gathered all of my energy, and put the first shot all the way over her shoulder; the others fell on her like rain. So, yeah, that’s what Generic Cialis did for me. It’s like this every night now. And might I add that satisfied women not only run better-they tend not to complain when you forget to take out the trash, or leave the toilet seat up. That’s the way women are-it’s all about the sex.

Before I ordered my first batch of Generic Cialis, I was getting downright depressed. I found myself driving past mortuaries, wondering if it was time to be measured for a coffin. Or, at least a little one for Mr. Johnson. Won’t be needing him anymore! So long, little fellah! Good night, sweet prince! You were really something back in the day. As they say, only the good die young! OK, OK, sorry to get morbid on you, guys. But, all jokes aside, when you realize that you may have had your last erection-hey, that’s some pretty heavy stuff. Until I broke down and ordered some Generic Cialis, I had occasion to wonder whether I was done for as a man, whether my reign of glory was over forever. Whether I’d ever hear a woman moan again. Thoughts of mortality start to creep in-thoughts of old age, decrepitude, and total uselessness. This kind of thing can set off a full-scale mid-life crisis. I felt like buying a red sports car-heck, at least I could give a lady a ride in that. Instead, I got smart, stopped whining, and ordered my first shipment of Generic Cialis. I had nothing to lose-except all hope and desire to live!

I suppose men are wired like that. Until I had to enlist Generic Cialis in my campaign to reconquer Mount Vulva, I thought my sense of self-worth was based on a lot more than my bedroom exploits. Sure, we men have a wide range of professional, personal, and intellectual interests, right? It’s not all about sex. No, no, not at all. That’s so high school, right? Well, just wait and see the plunge your self-image takes the first time you have trouble getting it up and giving it to that sighing, begging, beautiful woman lying there in front of you! How are you going to look into those eyes and say, “Sorry! My ladykiller is taking a nap! Catch you later, baby!” It’s like retreating from a field of battle, your tail (quite literally) between your legs. I’d had enough of the shame, after this happened two or three times. But for some reason I was slow to order Generic Cialis. This is the second aspect of male pride. Of course we’re ashamed and traumatized when we can’t slap around Mr. Slappy and get him to stand at attention, sure. But we’re doubly ashamed to get on the Internet and order some Generic Cialis. Why is that? All the stuff does is restore your natural ability to get hard and stay hard. It’s all about blood flow, guys. Simple as that.

My Generic Cialis was delivered to my doorstep just days later, and no one was the wiser. But now I had a secret weapon in my arsenal, to polish up old Excalibur whenever I sensed a battle approaching. Just pop a pill of Generic Cialis a bit ahead of time, and when you’re properly aroused, you’ll quickly have that good old feeling that your raging erection is about to tear a hole in your pants. And it’s amazing what a couple of good bangs will do for your self-confidence, your outlook on life. And you’ll be even more surprised what it’ll do for your woman… you know, the one who, quote un-quote, “doesn’t really need it to be happy.” What a crock. Order some Generic Cialis and give it to her the way you used to, and just watch as she stops the pouting and the grumpy attitude. Yep, it’s just that easy! So, get over those feelings of mortality, if you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction! You don’t have to join your Jimmy in an early grave! Resurrect him, with Generic Cialis!